.

I'm trapped. In a place of loneliness, and fear, and depression, and sadness. and it SUCKS. everyday I tell myself: "Today. Today it'll be okay. Today you won't cry. Today you won't look back or reminisce" but I always do. It's uncontrollable, and it happens completely randomly. But at least I see myself, I see my emotions, and I understand that it is a process that I have to go through.


I guess the worst part is just knowing that the fairy tale love I always imagined is false and that love may actually have a completely different meaning than I thought. Before, I thought that love was forever, but now I realize that it is possible to completely forget and stop loving someone. It just takes time. But why? why do we stop loving people? or I guess the better question is how? It's just too complicated to understand. I wish I was still dumb and naive to the realities of love. Everything was so simple that way. Everything was a fairy tale. 


And now I'm here, confused and scared. I don't think I can ever love again. I don't think I can even really think of love right now because I don't know what it is. What I thought it was isn't real, so now I'm left with nothing. or maybe I should say that I'm left with a lesson. who knows.