Interesting....

Listen

I went to the John Mayer concert last night. Needless to say it was incredible. I absolutely love concerts. There is something about the sound and the gathering of so many people that is absolutely breathtaking. And there is this one huge thing in common—no matter how different you are, everyone is more or less there to for one reason: to hear and enjoy the music. I think sound is one of the most incredible things… and it can reveal so much. It’s an art all in itself. If you just listen to everything around, there is a constant sound that we many times ignore, but it’s always there, keeping us company and constantly surrounding us.

When I was in France last summer, we went to eat at a restaurant where everything is completely black and you can’t see anything. The experience is meant to make you see (or should I say feel?) the world in a different way, because once your sight is gone, all other senses become that much more enhanced. All of a sudden, you’re not only listening, but you’re almost seeing through your ears. When I was eating, I lost track of everything. Since I could not see anything I just listened, I stayed quiet and listened to everything. I became a bit desperate too- longing for my sight back, even so that I had to step out of the darkness and into the bathroom where I gathered myself once again. Before I used to think that if I had to choose between being deaf or blind, I would definitely pick deaf, but after that experience I was not so sure.

But back to the point: The feeling I get when I am involved in a piece of music, or sound (like a speech) that I really like is incredible. There is something about sound that is just so comforting and pleasing. And as my friend Hannah said, “Music is the thing that unites the whole world”. The way music can be used to express emotions or convey a specific feeling is incredible and when you share that experience with someone else, there is such a deep connection. I was sooo happy last night to say the least—the music just made me so excited and happy and I could not stop smiling. All of a sudden, everyone surrounding me was my friend and I almost lost track of my body, and I let myself go, and dance and laughed and sang, and I was completely one with the music. It was perfect.

I used to think that I wanted to go to concerts to meet the artist and go crazy, and be able to show off my autograph everywhere. But I had it all wrong….As Jason Mraz said in his blog,

“I’m not the person you want to meet. The music is. And the music is alive in you as much as it is in me. We created it together. Therefore, you already know me. We’ve already hugged and kissed. We grew close for a moment and then said our goodbyes. 
It took my breath away.”

Now that I realize that I have a whole new appreciation for music, especially when it is live. And by letting myself go and submerging myself in the sound I get taken into another world, where all my emotions are so enhanced and perfect. Not only that but I feel one with everything around me. It is such an amazing experience.

You are the music while the music lasts. 

-T.S. Eliot

You Know...

"Love is who we are, don't ever let it leave you" 

I Gotta Feeling...

I've realized that no matter what happens in my life, there is always something to be grateful for. Today especially for becoming a year older, being with my family, my friends, and having the many opportunities that lay before me. I made a promise to myself that everyday I would try to say at least ONE thing that I an thankful for...that way, no matter what, I always feel (even a little) lucky. So thanks to life for keeping me here a year longer and for giving me the opportunity to have experienced and lived through everything I have until this day in my life...
and here's a few other things that I am grateful for:


-I was born 19 years ago today (thanks mom and dad!)

-I got my eye brows done

-I had a delicious breakfast in bed (made by my mom)

-I talked to my grandma and the rest of my family in Colombia

-School was cancelled for the 128973892th day in a row

-I ate delicious food all day
-I have an amazing, funny and supportive boyfriend

-I went to karate and learned some cool moves

-I got to catch snow in my mouth as it was falling down

-My sister and her husband came over for dinner

-I felt young and old and happy and anxious, but completely content.

-I ate Mac&Cheese….with extra cheese :)

-I got a new ringtone for my new phone!

-I got TWO cakes, two sets of candles, and thus, two wishes!

-I also got some delicious chocolate fondue.

-According to superstition, my sister (who is pregnant) will have a girl…we’ll see if we’re right!

-I had all my family and amazing boyfriend around me, smiling and happy

-I got a new bronzer- thank god!

-I will also be seeing the DALAI LAMA in New York in May!!! yes yes yes!!!

-Lastly, I am now one year older and I’m feeling time pass by, which is bad in some ways but amazing for all the new adventures that await me! I can’t wait!

....what are you grateful for?

Love

At one point or another we all experience love. I mean pure, true, about to explode and fly away love. Seeing how Valentine's day is tomorrow I thought I'd dedicate this post to that amazing feeling that can always make you smile, or laugh, or just be completely thankful for your life. I don't mean to be making Valentine's day to be a huge thing, but it is a wonderful day to tell everyone you care about how much they mean to you. And it should not only be about romantic lovers, but it should be about everyone! Family, friends, even strangers....look around- love is everywhere. You can even do something really nice for someone else just to put a smile on their face. So let's not make tomorrow about ourselves, but about everyone else. Let's give out our love and let it be felt...and hopefully that way we can truly say that everyone had a day full of love and gratitude. 
I hope everyone feels a heart full of love, and if you don't look closer because we all have all the love in the world within us. 


Now for all the romantics out there, here is Kahlil Gibran on Love (One of the most amazing things I have ever read in my life)


When love beckons to you, follow him,
Though his ways are hard and steep.
And when his wings enfold you yield to him,
Though the sword hidden among his pinions may wound you.
And when he speaks to you believe in him,
Though his voice may shatter your dreams
as the north wind lays waste the garden.

For even as love crowns you so shall he crucify you. Even as he is for your growth so is he for your pruning.
Even as he ascends to your height and caresses your tenderest branches that quiver in the sun,
So shall he descend to your roots and shake them in their clinging to the earth.

Like sheaves of corn he gathers you unto himself.
He threshes you to make you naked.
He sifts you to free you from your husks.
He grinds you to whiteness.
He kneads you until you are pliant;
And then he assigns you to his sacred fire, that you may become sacred bread for God's sacred feast.

All these things shall love do unto you that you may know the secrets of your heart, and in that knowledge become a fragment of Life's heart.

But if in your fear you would seek only love's peace and love's pleasure,
Then it is better for you that you cover your nakedness and pass out of love's threshing-floor,
Into the seasonless world where you shall laugh, but not all of your laughter, and weep, but not all of your tears.
Love gives naught but itself and takes naught but from itself.
Love possesses not nor would it be possessed;
For love is sufficient unto love.

When you love you should not say, "God is in my heart," but rather, "I am in the heart of God."
And think not you can direct the course of love, for love, if it finds you worthy, directs your course.

Love has no other desire but to fulfill itself.
But if you love and must needs have desires, let these be your desires:
To melt and be like a running brook that sings its melody to the night.
To know the pain of too much tenderness.
To be wounded by your own understanding of love;
And to bleed willingly and joyfully.
To wake at dawn with a winged heart and give thanks for another day of loving;
To rest at the noon hour and meditate love's ecstasy;
To return home at eventide with gratitude;
And then to sleep with a prayer for the beloved in your heart and a song of praise upon your lips.

Open

I found an old box that I had labeled “Laura’s Memories”. I made it when I was about 10 years old, and in it were many old letters, drawing, notes and an old diary. Needless to say it was a big walk down memory lane.

In the diary, I read pages full of my childhood problems of fighting with my sister, peeing my pants, not getting a new bike, etc. But most importantly I read an entree where I had written that I did not feel like I belonged with my family; That I felt alone and misunderstood. I was so shocked because at such a young age I did not think that I would be able to recognize such emotions or at least write about them in the way that I did.

I have always felt different than the rest of my family. Not that we do not get along, because we do and I love them so much, but many times I feel misunderstood. The thing is that I don’t really even know how to change or to improve the situation. As I saw all my old memories I realized that many things have changed and that our family has grown further and further apart which I really sad. I guess we have just gotten too caught up in our own lives and have become a bit selfish.

But why did I write those things in my diary? I started to wonder if we as humans gain our self worth internally or externally….which is a really complicated question because even though we do need some approval or to feel like we are making someone proud, we still have our internal emotions and values.  I know who I am; I know what I am worth, so how can my own family or anyone judge me?

I guess the way we look at this question is all personal…but in the end we have to live in acceptance with everything around us- love everyone for who they are, and just embrace their uniqueness. We are no one to make judgments on someone else.

And from now on, I will do my best to never judge anyone around me... and I will put more effort into my family relationships because after all they are the people that have known me since I was little and they are the people more likely to stay in my life forever. 

Sledding

I went sledding in the dark last night. It was a big, steep hill and in the dark it almost seemed invisible. Needless to say it took a lot of trust which made the experience twice as fun. The best thing was that when I landed, I would lay there on the snow for a bit and just look at the sky. Compared to all the white around me, the sky seemed even darker, making the stars stand out in an incredible way. I felt like I could see all the way into the next galaxy. And I thought about how many times I ignore the beauty that is around me… including the sky…or the slanted trees due to the heavy snow…or the way snow perfectly coats our surroundings.

Another amazing thing about last night was that when I would get thirsty I would just grab some of the clean snow around me and swallow it. Not only was it refreshing but it definitely calmed my thirst. As I was looking at the sky, I thought about how the snow I was eating came from up there and I thought that was so incredible. That made me think about what I was REALLY putting in my mouth.

So I asked my sister, “what do you think snow tastes like?”

…..”Polluted water” she said.

I thought about that for a second and said, “I think it tastes like…Earth”

I also listened to this song last night, which just tied it all together. Maybe you'll like it. (The video is also good)

Read between the lines

I have been trapped inside my house for the past two days (due to all the snow) so my daily activities have been seriously changed. All of a sudden I don’t have to go to work, do homework (cause let’s face it- we’re never going back to school at this rate), worry about showering or even getting out of my pajamas for that matter. My days have basically been turned into a complete mix of laziness. After eating for the majority of the day, I decided to watch a movie...

If any of you have ever seen the movie “Crash” I think you will know what I am talking about, and if you haven’t I recommend going to see it as you as you can. The subject of racism is very relevant in the movie which is something that I am very interested in. Not only does the movie take you through the life of so many different characters, showing you details, making your heart sink, and sometimes cry, but it also ties all the stories together into the most beautiful way ever.

As I watched to movie, I thought about the treatment that we as humans have towards one another. In many scenes I felt completely disgusted at the lack of respect that we portray not only towards other people but many times towards our own selves. It seems incredible to me that we can sometimes get to the point where we become so selfish that we can go as far as taking someone’s emotions for granted and changing their life forever. What was most incredible to me was to tie the movie into our everyday world and to realize that scenes like these happen everyday. It seems amazing to think of all the pain and hardships that our world endures, and although we don’t have to think about it every second, it is something that we cannot ignore.

On the plus side, the movie ends with a positive ending that makes you almost want to cry (depending on how emotional you are of course). By the end, I felt somewhat pleased with the way humanity works. And that’s not to say that horrible things do not happen, or course they do and they always will, but the important thing is that so much beauty comes from the horrible things as well; Whether it is the unison of a family or the comfort of a friend. The force that constantly balances out the universe will make sure that things are always in order. It gives me hope to know that somehow everything is under control and the bad things will happen but so will the good things….we just have to look for them.

Sometimes, we just have to read between the lines in order to find the real meaning…and many times the real meaning is a lot less horrible than we imagine it to be.

Breathe...and Let it go...

So my happy and wonderful mood was almost instantly changed when I went out to dinner and found myself in one of the most uncomfortable situations ever. To make a long story short, I felt like my family and I were disrespected and I was completely embarrassed and angry. The worst thing was that it was by someone who I once trusted and supported. After not knowing what to do for about 3 hours and feeling like all my optimism towards humanity was banished… I sat and thought about what happened for a long time. My whole body felt in a knot and I was so upset. But I breathed and I breathed and I calmed myself down. Then, I realized that things like this happen, and not everything in life is picture perfect…in fact nothing is. And that is ok too.
I was just writing about control over our emotions, so how could I allow someone else’s words and actions affect me? We will all find ourselves disrespected at one point or another but the important thing is to not get caught up in the moment and in the instant emotion. Anger, frustration and pride only consume us with negative energy that make us feel constantly heavy and cluttered. I think that if we are searching for peace and trying to get peace the best way to start is within ourselves. As hard as it may be, we are all capable of doing that…and in the end we always end up winning that way. We need to gain a greater level of selflessness and just learn to be true to ourselves no matter what we go through.

And as one friend once told me: 
“How seriously could you take yourself if you knew you were going to die tomorrow?”

Thoughts on HAPPINESS :-)

Lately I’ve had the most amazing feeling of satisfaction and just pure fulfillment...and I've realized that no matter what I can always feel this way considering how I am in constant control over my emotions. Most of the time during winter (especially when it’s snowing so often, like now) I just feel lonely, isolated and just out of control of my life. It’s almost like the weather controls me…But I’ve learned to see the beauty in everything.
Yesterday I looked out my window and saw the trees covered in snow, and every branch looked so defined and beautiful- it was almost as it the tree was made of snow. For a moment, I felt like I was living IN a snow globe! I couldn’t help but feel safe in that beautiful surrounding. I felt so small, yet really big at the same time. So I went outside for a bit and just listened to the silence...and the world just felt so at peace...which made me feel completely relaxed and calm.
I guess I’ve just realized that life is too short to reject anything that is given to us, and we should never take anything for granted- even the things that may not seem so great. Everything has its beauties. And we need to learn to remember that wherever we are, it is exactly where we are meant to be. Plus, it's amazing to know that if we feel lost and empty, all we need to do is take a deep breath, get back in contact with ourselves and we’ll feel full again. After all our biggest strength comes from inside.

I got an application on my ipod that gives me quotes everyday…ironically enough today’s was

“There is nothing left to you at this moment but to have a good laugh”

and the final quote I'll leave you with comes from the amazing Dave Matthews:

"eyes closed we're gonna spin through the stars, our arms wide as the sky, we gonna ride blue...all the way to the end of the world, to the end of the world"

There is nothing stopping you from living the life you've always dreamed of.

Relax...

Time is really a crazy thing.
I have just finished my first semester of senior year and I have spent the whole weekend thinking of the future: where I want to be, what I want to do, etc….and I’ve also thought of the past and questioned how pleased I am with my life at this point. It was kind of like a domino effect, one thought lead to another, and all of the sudden I began worrying about how time is flying by and I have no control over it.
It seems crazy to realize that a few years ago I thought this would be the perfect point in life for me. Exactly where I wanted to be- yet somehow whenever I reach those points, I also look for more, ask for more, and need more to make me happy. And I think a big problem in that is that our expectations rarely meet true reality (whether good or bad).

So much about life is kind of a melancholy feeling. We have to learn to accept the present for what it is, and completely give ourselves to life, taking whatever comes our way. As we grow up we leave so much behind…. but we gain so much at the same time. It is as if our life is in constant balance. We need to lose in order to gain….because we can never have too much of one thing.

I read an article that spoke about how suffering is unnecessary for humans and how suffering is only there to serve a purpose of awareness.
“Suffering is unnecessary: Like a disease, once we really face the fact that suffering exists, we can look more deeply and discover its cause; and when we discover that the cause is dependent on certain conditions, we can explore the possibility of removing those conditions.”
I was really inspired by this, considering we spend so much of our time worrying, thinking and obsessing over things that only clutter or harm our minds. If we take suffering and put it in a sense of awareness, we begin to take control of our emotions and our lives will not only be made simpler, but we will be happier. In other words, we should not just worry- we should wonder why we are worrying in the first place.

I’ve realized that no matter how much thinking I do on my life, where I am, and where I will be, I will only be missing out on what is happening right NOW. And worrying is only going to make me more anxious, more irritable, and more stressed out. There is no reason to make our lives more complicated than they are…and sometimes our own personal thoughts cause us more damage than any outside factor could.